Coming to Grips

Just a few updates in my world as we end the week.

Insurance has rejected my claim on the house repairs, so all of this is officially out of pocket.  As it stands, the current tally if nothing else goes wrong is running close to $9,000.  I currently have hot and cold running water, as I mentioned before.  I’m taking a long weekend away from the city since staying in my neighborhood is just a bad idea over New Year’s Eve.  If the timetable holds, the full repair will commence Tuesday at 9 am, and then the hole in the garage will be filled the next day.  Just in time too since it’s supposed to start freezing again later in the week, and they’re even talking a possibility of snow.  In Dallas?  Freak show!

In other news… I’ve finally had the chance to properly grieve for Carrie Fisher.  I knew it would hit me hard.  It’s just that with everything else going on, I wasn’t sure when it would happen.

Yesterday at work, I listened to a couple of my favorite podcasts — RebelForce Radio and Skywalking Through Neverland — and both of them did outstanding tributes to our fallen princess.  That got the ball rolling for me.  I was able to commiserate vicariously with fans across the galaxy.  Both podcasts spotlighted a celebration of her life and highlighted some of the things that most outsiders might not know about her, such as her work doing script doctoring for films.  By the time those were podcasts were over, I felt like I’d only scratched the surface.

Turns out this surface was pretty thin, and it took only one thing to finally tip me past the point of control: the music of John Williams.  I found myself listening last night to “Princess Leia’s Theme,” and all of it caught up to me in a way that felt a little too real.  I folded like a cheap card table.  If you’re somehow not familiar with the piece, or if you’d like to hear it again, here you go:

It’s always hard to say goodbye to someone who inspired you at such a young age.  The last time it was this hard, it was Christopher Reeve, for much the same reason.  She became something of a heroine for me on both sides of the screen.  For many fans, Carrie Fisher and Princess Leia are inseparable.  We consciously know the difference, of course, but it doesn’t seem to factor at times.  Her way was to put herself at center stage in the most self-deprecating manner, and in doing so she humanized herself in such a way that endeared her to her audience.  In those times, she demonstrated the same strength and perseverance as her character.  That she could do so with humor just puts her another level or two up the ladder of respect for me.  She’s always been there for me on screen from my earliest memory, her own strength being funneled into Leia, setting that impossibly higher example.  That I got to stand in her presence once and say “thank you” is priceless to me, even if the moment was beyond awkward because I was too starstruck to be intelligible.  Listening to her narrate her memoirs over the years has helped me to understand the woman behind the princess, and the rest just comes as part and parcel of being a Star Wars fan. You get to know what those who are a part of that world share with us.  She held nothing back.  I think she must have been incredible to know on a personal level.

“Death is a natural part of life.  Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force.  Mourn them do not.  Miss them do not.” — Master Yoda

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